New talent announcement

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New talent announcement

Post  Marglar on Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:52 am

Following an announcement of new talent joining the ranks - an eager crowd awaits the moment when he is introduced...

The opening notes of a horrible techno remix of the Ultimate Warrior's entry song sound
What might be the Ultimate Warrior after being hit by a shrinking ray charges to the center of the ring and grabs a microphone.

Marglar: I was sent in a capsule from a place long from here and I came here for one reason: to attack and keep coming. Not to ask but just to give. Not to want but just to send...send the power of the Marglar down everybody's throat in the PWF till they become sick of it. Well you're gonna get sick of it because this freak of nature right here is just beginning to swell. And when I get big enough, brother, there ain't gonna be room for anybody else but me and all the Marglars floating through the veins, and the power of the Marglarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Marglar charges out of the ring as quickly as he entered, leaving the crowd in a bit of a stupor.

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  cathal fitz on Sun Nov 16, 2008 1:16 am

Guns and Roes Welcome to the Jungle is played at full blast As Titzz makes his way to the ring.


Titzz: What are u talking about?? And who and what do u think you are?? Wait I really donít care. I hear you saying that your going to put the power of the Mrglar down everybody's throat well why donít you start with me? Before I shove this mic down your throat

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Hell's horseman on Sun Nov 16, 2008 2:09 am

Metallica-Master of puppets brings the crowd on their feet as Hell's horseman steps walk down to the ring...Takes the microphone:"I'm the "Hell hound" and I'm here to make you scream in pain!I challenge everybody to try to defeat and those brave,but foolish,wrestler who will try to defeat me will soon fell my rage upon them!"The lights go out and Hell's horseman disappears.

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  King Neli on Sun Nov 16, 2008 3:41 am

3 new RPers nice
but guys i know your new but these RPs still need to be longer

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Hell's horseman on Sun Nov 16, 2008 6:46 pm

The lights go out and a total silence rushes in the arena.The air is getting cold,you can see the steam that's coming out of the crowd's mouth as they breath.Everybody is nervous and stressed,they're looking right and left to see if anybody is there...Metallica-Welcome home (Sanitarium) starts playing quietly in the arena.A cold,creepy,mysterious feeling is overcoming everybody.A tall,strong,confident man steps in the arena at the entrance.He's wearing a black hat,a black trainer with a ruby flame on it,black jeans with a ruby flame on them as well.He has a resolute,confident look that could kill anybody.He has a terrible big scar on his left arm like somebody cut him with a big knife. Nobody is sure who he is and doesn't seem to want to find it out.He starts walking...nobody is saying anything or moving like they're made out of stone. He is walking slowly and silently,he is looking at every direction to see who's there.He enters the ring over the top ropes.The announcer throws a microphone to him and runs away in seconds.He crouches down and takes the microphone and gets up again.He firstly takes his hat off and takes a deep breath before he starts talking.He says:"I came from the deepest of abyss,I traveled a thousand miles to come here,I have defeated a thousand enemies just to stand here and now I want to prove that I'm worthy a thousand of your best wrestlers.Whoever challenges me I want to let him know that I won't never decline a opportunity to make their life miserable!You can't defeat me because I haunt you in your worst nightmares,I'm the "thing" that won't let you sleep calm in your bed when you think that you're safe.Oh no,....I will bring doom upon you and shatter you into pieces as I please."The fans are terrified about the things he's telling.After he finishes he puts the microphone down and puts his hat on again.OH MY GOD,people start screaming as a undead horse enters the arena!!IT hasn't got any skin!!IT'S MADE OUT OF BONES AND SOME PIECES OF MEAT!!It goes down to the ring post.The man bounces off the ropes and jumps on it's back.The horse starts running with the man on it's back!The lights go out again and the music stops playing.The lights go on again and the horse and his raider disappeared.Because he didn't told them his name they gave him the nickname "Hell's horseman".

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Hell's horseman on Sun Nov 16, 2008 7:37 pm

is this one good?

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  King Neli on Sun Nov 16, 2008 7:55 pm

thats actually quite good
but you need to set it out better for example press enter then start a new paragraph
also add abit of commentary to the role play
the commentators names are John and Peter
you could use them to split the role play so your not talking for ages or doing the same thing

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Plague* on Sun Nov 16, 2008 9:49 pm

This is good, but in addition to what innocent said, you need to break it up more. Absolutely no one is going to read a 20 line paragraph No . Im a VGM and i still couldn't do it without trailing off and not paying attention anymore Razz . I usually write around 2-3 lines and then have something like:

Crowd: BOO
or
John: WOW!!! Did you hear that?
Peter: No i have much more important things to do right now. Of course I heard it!!!

But thats just me. In my rps i make peter hate john. Very Happy

If you're not sure whether you need a break, you can either ask someone, or go with a general rule like don't go more than 5 lines in a row.

But these are just my opinions. You guys are doing fine. But if you have any questions, just ask. Cool

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Plague* on Sun Nov 16, 2008 9:51 pm

Oh and HH and CF, also look at what Marglar did. How he used a different color for different actions. It helps Very Happy

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Plague* on Mon Nov 17, 2008 5:01 am

*To go at the end of the final rp*

Peter: Well, they look good, but where's the fourth one?
John: Huh?
Peter: Idiot. Plague said there would be 4 new superstars.
John: Oh right. Maybe he was wrong.
Peter: Hmm...doubtful.
John: We'll just have to wait and see.

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Hell's horseman on Mon Nov 17, 2008 1:13 pm

you mean i should write an another one?That was my first one...

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  King Neli on Mon Nov 17, 2008 7:39 pm

no dont writeanother 1 just set out that role play out again same words but just set it out better with john and peter talking abit to
also add * to the beginning and end of each movement your character does
some use * but normally I just put it in italics
you could leave it with nothing but just giving my advice

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Hell's horseman on Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:22 pm

this is 2nd part
John:Wow
Peter:Yea,wow.
John:Who was that???
Peter:I don't know but he sure is creepy.
John:Yes,like your underwear.
Crowd:LoL
Peter:Oh really,you mean the ones you had to wash yesterday because you lost a bet against me?
John:What!?I told you to not say that in front of the crowd!!
Peter:Well I said it!What now?You're going to cry?
John:No...*grabs a monitor and swings it*
Peter:*afraid*What are you doing!?
*BASH!*
John:We'll be right back after commercials.*kicks Peter*
Peter:*is bleeding*Stay in your seats!Maybe we'll learn something about this mysterious character later.

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  TheRockAttitude on Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:48 pm

Hell's horseman wrote:The lights go out and a total silence rushes in the arena.

The air is cold, you can see the moist smoke that's coming from the mouths of thousands of fans as they breath. Everybody is nervous and stressed, they're looking right and left to see if anybody is there...

John: What is this? Who is this? Technical difficulties? Please say it is!

Metallica-Welcome home (Sanitarium) starts playing quietly in the arena. The crowd is overwhelmed by a shivering feeling running down their spines. A tall,strong,confident man steps in the arena at the entrance.

He's wearing a black hat,a black trainer with a ruby flame on it and black jeans which also carry the symbol of a ruby flame. He has a resolute,confident look that could devastate any living being. He has a terrible big scar on his left arm like somebody sliced him open with a cold sharp knife. Nobody is sure who he is and doesn't seem to want to find it out.

Peter: I wanna know who this guy is, nevermind about the crowd!

He starts walking...nobody is saying anything or moving as if they were made of solid stone.

He is walking slowly and silently down the ramp, he is looking at every direction to see who's there. He enters the ring over the top ropes.

John: Here!!!

The announcer throws a microphone to him and runs away in seconds.

He crouches down and takes the microphone and gets up again. He begins to take his hat off and takes a deep breath before he starts talking. He starts to speak in a slow, demented voice: "I came from the deepest of abyss, I traveled a thousand miles to come here, I have defeated a thousand enemies just to stand here and now I want to prove that I'm worthy a thousand of your best wrestlers. Whoever challenges me I want to let you know that I will never decline a opportunity to make your life a living hell! You can't defeat me because I haunt you in your worst nightmares, I'm the "thing" that won't let you sleep calmly in your bed when you think that you're safe. Oh no,....I will bring the wrath of satan upon you and shatter your helpless body into a thousand pieces as and when I please. "The fans are terrified about the things he's telling them. After he finishes he puts the microphone down and puts his hat on again. OH MY GOD, people start screaming as an undead horse enters the arena!! IT hasn't got any skin!! IT'S MADE OUT OF BONES AND SOME PIECES OF MEAT!! It gallops down to the ring post. The man bounces off the ropes and jumps on it's back. The horse starts running with the man on it's back! The lights go out again and the music stops playing. The lights go on again and the horse and his raider disappeared. Because he didn't told them his name they gave him the nickname "Hell's horseman".


Peter: Well, they look good, but where's the fourth one?
John: Huh?
Peter: Idiot. Plague said there would be 4 new superstars.
John: Oh right. Maybe he was wrong.
Peter: Hmm...doubtful.
John: We'll just have to wait and see.

I set out the RP as best I could do without changing it so much, I also bolded the things I changed and made more descriptive. Also added some commentary and corrected small spelling and punctuation mistakes. Try use this as a guideline for future reference.

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  King Neli on Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:45 pm

ahhh now thats whatwe need
thanks Rock

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  TheRockAttitude on Mon Nov 17, 2008 11:24 pm

No problem, also Horseman, if you are ever unsure about your latest flash ( promo/RP ) then post it in the RP help section at the bottom of the home page and a kind soul will do what they can to direct you in the right position.

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Plague* on Tue Nov 18, 2008 1:48 am

Or just pm me. The soul apparently

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  Hell's horseman on Tue Nov 18, 2008 11:36 am

Ok,thanks

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Re: New talent announcement

Post  jonni619 on Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:17 am

No point, company is done Sad
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